nydreams

2004-07-11T11:16:00.000-05:00

arrgh.

2003-12-11T19:54:00.000-06:00

goodbye blog, it was cool while it lasted. All my trivial thoughts are going onto I Love Everything these days.

2003-09-16T16:01:00.000-05:00

why do I never learn to compose my amazing posts in a non-blogger setting? Rest assured it was genius.

2003-08-18T19:24:00.000-05:00

Hurrah again for TiVo, which taped Crossfire for me today and Janeane Garofalo is the co-host! Not the guest, but the actual 'from-the-left' co-host with Tucker Carlson, and she's on all week. She's a bit unused to the teleprompter, but is doing great. Have you seen her new blonde hair? I can't find a picture. She was on Real Time with Bill Maher with it too. (Wow, Margaret Cho is on next week's Real Time! She's also coming to Big City on her tour!) Oh, man, the conservatives are being so condescending to Janeane. I seriously want to write her fan letters.

I've been busy for the last week putting together a new hard rock radio station, which debuts tomorrow. I have listened to so much Limp Bizkit and Korn and Tool and also a few things that I like. I was a huge metalhead in high school; what happened? I seriously don't get this stuff. Misanthropy beats misogyny hands down. And what is going on with Tool, seriously? I know I don't get prog, but albums and albums full of extended 8-minute songs about butt sex?

They're not even happy songs.

2003-08-04T18:39:00.000-05:00

haha, the vegan diet totally went out the window. Lasted a week and a half, maybe. Honestly the wheat-free part was the hardest. If I could afford to go out for pad thai all the time it wouldn't be that bad, but as it is, bleh.

The b/f comes back from his Big City summer job adventure in a week, hopefully with a job offer. He played golf for the first time last week AND LIKED IT. The soul is all gone. On the other hand, reunion sex rocks.

I told myself I'd start looking for a job in Big City as soon as we were settled in our new place, but my big hope is suddenly my deep fear: that I'd land a job quickly. The summer without him has been harder than I thought, and trying to settle into a new job without him would be a little too much to handle. I'd like to be here for support during his last year of law school, too. I haven't talked to him about it yet, but I think he'd be cool supporting me if I didn't get a job there once he graduated. Hell, I've saved enough money to not have to bother him about it, so who cares. Things are generally pretty good.

2003-07-11T18:25:00.000-05:00

I'm totally on a health kick; it's a little weird. I'm three days into a vegan/wheat-free diet. I'm hungry all the time but I think my skin is clearing up a little. While I was on vacation I was totally ready to quit my job but now that I'm back it isn't so bad. The boyfriend and I almost had the marriage conversation. I told him I hated diamonds and when he asked why I said diamonds are the blood of Africa. He about laughed his ass off. I turn into a real hippie when he's not around. There's a guy in a turban on my breakfast cereal these days.

2003-06-26T17:52:00.000-05:00

Okay, I don't leave for NYC on Saturday. I'm eating the ticket. I'm going to Chicago with my mom instead. I'm totally letting her and b/f pressure me into staying because they don't want me in NYC alone. On the other hand, Chicago is great and I've been needing to spend some time with my folks. (I realize this makes it sound like my mom runs my life; it's totally not true. The $1000 I'd have to spend on hotel is a big part of the decision. Plus I'm incredibly tired from moving and want to nest for a while.) I cried a lot today; I'm really bummed out about all the fun stuff I'll miss in NYC. But really, a week off in Chicago is nothing to complain about. It'll also be that much more easy to justify a splurge on the magnificent mile when I think about the thou I'm not spending on hotel.

2003-06-25T22:24:00.000-05:00

I leave for NYC on Saturday. I'm completely unprepared. A bunch of different housing options all fell through so I don't know where I'm staying. I've saved enough money to spend on a hotel but I'm so tight that it makes me feel bad to spend all that money on bed when I could be getting fancy shoes or buying drinks for friends. I should just let it go already. I've considered eating my cheap ticket, but we know that's not really going to happen. I'm really stressed out from moving too, bleh.

The boyfriend is doing well in Big City. He keeps calling me drunk--he's not much of a drinker but there is plentiful free booze at Big Law Firm gatherings. Apparently today he won a pool tournament. He has the worst dumb luck in pool, and awful form, but he gets the job done. So every time he won a round, he got another free drink. It added up to eight drinks. In the final round he beat the head of the state bar. Yeah. And when he won, he made the 'loser' sign on his forehead. Yeah. He said the guy had a good sense of humor. Sure hope so.

2003-06-02T20:35:00.000-05:00

Okay, something really nice happened to me and I want to try to share it.

Basically, a stranger (listener) came up to me and told me I was doing a good job and that they were really happy that I was around. I about burst into tears.

So maybe strangers don't get much contact with what you produce at your job, or maybe you don't have a job per se, at least not as most define it. Doesn't matter. Almost certainly you don't get told enough that you're doing a good job. Sure.

You're doing a really good job. There are certain things about it that give you satisfaction even if you may not want to admit it to yourself. But regardless, it's your job, and you do it, and you do it well.

SERIOUSLY.

Listen to me. If you left, the person they got to replace you--NO WAY would they do as good of a job. You are PURE MAGIC and you can make wonderful things happen.

Also note that this holds true outside any 9-5 thingy you may or may not be committed to. You have a job as a friend and a family member and as a human being on this earth. And you're fucking awesome at it. For real. You have something in you that makes other people happy.

I know I sound like a hippy. I didn't say this was going to be easy.

So you have something in you that can be magical. IT'S TRUE. And one of the most amazing things about having this goodness in you is that you get to share it with others and make their lives happier and easier. That's your job really.

And you're great at it.

I know you have this little dark part in you now that's scowling. That's okay. Put on some Pet Shop Boys and teach it how to dance.

Thanks.

Also, Chris says hi. He just got a haircut.

2003-06-01T21:39:00.000-05:00

New NYC obsession: Craigslist NYC.

Tourist Season Alert, from same.

I just bought tickets to NYC, yay.

2003-05-25T22:15:00.000-05:00

Independent Film Channel: Dinner For Five. Never knew it existed, but Tivo gets everything with Janeane Garofalo in it, so I got this. Jon Favreau has dinner in NYC with Janeane, Dave Eggers, David Byrne, and Joe Pantoliano. Wow. It sounds so awesome.

Actually they just end up talking about cancer.

2003-05-24T13:24:00.000-05:00

Still mulling over the css redesign. I don't really know that much about the principles of design and I'm too undiciplined about it. I want to put too many different elements into it. I'd really like to do something Frank Lloyd Wright/Arts & Craftsy, I guess, but there are so many other fun looks. Dark Victorian? Twee-goth? Super-modern?

2003-05-23T18:47:00.000-05:00

You saw it here first: Silence! The Musical.

2003-05-20T19:52:00.000-05:00

V. lonely at night without boyfriend. Roof leaked last night too. More cracks appear in walls every day. Moving in a month.

R.P. in NYC, where are you? I left a message on your cell phone. Email me please...I just don't want to lose track of you.

Lower East Side love.

2003-05-18T12:41:00.000-05:00

Wow, how lame have I been? Things have been beyond crazy, working multiple jobs, etc etc. I may have more time on my hands now that the boyfriend's gone to his summer job in Big City. I want to redesign my css too. The zengarden thing's got me inspired. If you want ridiculously long blog entries, Flight Risk should keep you satisfied.

2003-04-13T20:13:00.000-05:00

New York Magazine put out their 35th anniversary issue and it's marvelous. The city is amazing now but I wonder what it was really like in the day. I sense the fresh paint on it now, the Disneyfication of it all; I can see the ghosts of what used to be but I don't really know. What was it like in those crazy days? Times Square, the Son of Sam, the '77 blackouts? The crime, the fear, the blood just underneath the surface?

2003-04-10T14:28:00.000-05:00

Entries have been few and far between lately, I know. I've become addicted to AIM and have forgotten about poor little blogger. So easily distracted...

Oh, and the books and records over there on the side are hopelessly outdated too. I'm enjoying Caitlin Cary's new one and still trying to figure out if I like the new White Stripes and Radiohead. Daylight saving is over so it may be time to break out the reggae again.

2003-04-04T22:03:00.000-06:00

The boyfriend has just discovered NOW with Bill Moyers and has a season pass to it now on the Tivo. So it just came on while I had the TV on in the background. They had the editor of Editor & Publisher on. (I thought that was kind of funny; ah, to be the editor of Editor & Publisher!) So anyway, it's coverage of war coverage, a nice long-form interview that I'm only half-paying attention to.

Their second segment is on media consolidation, something that naturally strikes close to home for me. If I move to Big City, I'll have to work for one of these big corporations if I want to work in commercial radio.

I still have to write that big article. My only hope is to write something ridiculously academic. I also still have to do my taxes. And the boyfriends taxes. (Irony: he will probably get the highest grade in his Tax Law class this semester, but the 1040 EZ still scares him.) He's gone this weekend so no distractions, boo.

I was gonna go out tonight but I'm tired of dealing with people. I feel grungy. Plus I've been treating myself too often to meals out (v. unusual) and need to be a little more sensible about the spending. Already today I ate lunch and dinner out. Well, I had Subway stamps for dinner, so it only cost me a dollar for the soda you have to buy. My little sandwich artist was so stoned; I felt bad for him.

My latest New York magazine has an article that talks about our personal experiences with others; the moment when we find out where our acquaintances, friends, coworkers stand on the war. For some reason I found it really good, really intimate and personal. (I could've just been loopy and exhausted and tired of war coverage at the very end of the day.) It's funny how some people will rush to tell you their stance, and it's just as funny to watch myself react. I'm often more guarded about revealing my stance with people who have viewpoints similar to mine and I'm not sure why that is. Maybe I just like hearing them explain themselves and see where they find their strong arguments, what's important to them.

2003-03-30T11:20:00.000-06:00

Last night I had war dreams, end-of-the-world dreams. Everyone was pretty resigned to it. We did take a bunch of equipment out and make some sort of crazy pirate radio station, or maybe we just carted a huge sound system out into the middle of the street. Everyone was chilling out in the streets and trying to find a semi-private area to have their end-of-the-world screw. The boyfriend said he had end-of-the-world dreams too but they were heavily influenced by our watching of Metal Mania. I downloaded Operation Mindcrime for him overnight.

2003-03-29T15:34:00.000-06:00

Also, if I were a member of Vixen, I would totally be the bassist because my hair is really limp and fine and there's no way I could get it to be as big as the other girls'.

2003-03-29T15:30:00.000-06:00

Hurrah for a lazy day.

Hurrah for a VH1 Classic Metal Mania Weekend!

Here is one half-hour of programming.

House Of Lords - I Wanna Be Loved
Mama's Boys - Mama We're All Crazy Now (note non-Slade spelling)
Kix - Body Talk (the video is so hideous; seemingly shot on videotape, band on a cheap stage intercut with shots of twenty girls in leotards doing aerobics in a high school gym.)
Pretty Boy Floyd - I Wanna Be With You (from the fine album 'Leather Boyz With Electric Toyz')
Then commercials, and then guest VJ or something Leslie West from Mountain talks for a reallllllly long time.
Then Def Leppard - Rock Of Ages (could there be a video more classic! the tied-up chick looks at the owl! the owl looks at Joe Elliot's ass! cut to gauntleted hand crushing goblet of mysteriously red fluid! the end bit where Joe waves an amazingly large glowing sword!)
Then Tesla - Gettin' Better. I've never heard of it, but it's got a lovely black-and-white video with sad shots of smokestacks and workers in hardhats. Oh, but then it goes all color and uptempo and relentlessly optimistic! Yeah!
Then the BEYOND CLASSIC POISON - FALLEN ANGEL that opens up with the little skit in the beginning where the hottie daugher informs the parents that she's going to move to California...on Friday. You remember how this one goes.

2003-03-29T13:07:00.000-06:00

2003-03-29T09:52:00.000-06:00

Gad, now it's been ages since I posted. Work has still been seriously weird. Yay for the weekend.

Also yay for Tivo. I'm watching Real Time With Bill Maher and he had Michael Moore by satellite and Janeane Garofalo on the roundtable. Excellent. Janeane is looking too thin these days...I'm worried all the activism is taking its toll on her, but bless her for it. I hate that she's getting attacked by people who didn't even know her genius before this whole mess started.

2003-03-25T19:58:00.000-06:00

Two soy chicken patties on buns, bowl of mac and cheese, and two Miller High Lifes for dinner tonight. A bit much really but I didn't have lunch.

Soulseek means that I'm rediscovering the Cure by finally getting to listen to all those demos and b-sides I could never get my hands on. Ace. Also very interesting to see what people think is interesting out of my collection. So far it's Massive Attack's Mezzanine by a mile. I certainly thought everyone already had this album. It's certainly one you should buy and not download because you need to have high fidelity on a good system, loud. It's not much fun listening to mp3s on bitty laptop speakers, but you get the general idea of the song. I guess I need to bring my kickass Sennheisers home to see if that helps.

Must plug People Talk Too Loud for the redesign and the generall all-around goodness. Maybe one of these days I'll even write an article for them. Right now I've got an article due for Radio and Rec0rds, though; 1700 words of "I don't know, whatever you think is important." 1700!

I hafta watch 24 now.

2003-03-22T21:48:00.000-06:00

I can't believe it's only been a few days since the bombs began dropping. Went to bed the night of the 19th to be woken up by all the calls from work telling me it was on. We had a plan in place, of course; we've had enough time to come up with one. Everything went fine and I didn't have to go in and supervise.

It's always strange to be in that newsroom environment when things are really happening. I walked in right before the bombs started getting enormously scary on Friday - or was it Thursday? (everything's blended together and the days have been very long.) Everyone was fighting back the tears, some more successfully than others.

Salam has been breaking my heart.

The basketball is nice and distracting. I really don't know what else to do. The marches and rallies help too.

Tomorrow I'm doing a political talk show (I guess I'm supposed to be the young idealistic voice) and I'm going to have to get all my feelings and arguments down into sound bites.

I'm really glad it's the weekend. The atmosphere at the radio station is suffocating at times like these.

2003-03-19T17:45:00.000-06:00

crapcrapcrapcrapcrap. I bought an expensive pair of boots in the mail and now they've arrived and I'm SCARED of them.

They've been all repackaged and are sitting under the coffee table in a box in a box.

I think I like them but I'm not sure and I just need a little time away. They're intense.

I think they'll be really good over tight jeans but not so good with skirts.

So maybe I need another pair of boots that goes with skirts.

2003-03-17T21:42:00.000-06:00

I totally came home from work early so I could take a nap and go out tonight and the band I was going to see cancelled.

ABC is calling their coverage 'When Diplomacy Fails'.

I think dancing in your living room is an acceptable form of personal protest.

Dance-ins are where it's at, baby.

2003-03-17T15:19:00.000-06:00

Wine and cheese.

The unidentified soft cheese I bought had the oddest aftertaste. I couldn't place it for a long time and then I got it: creme hair developer.

I threw it out. This is the second Brie/Camembert stylee in a row that's been bad news. Bad luck is enough, bad cheese luck is something else.

The Pinot Noir I bought on the recommendation of the Times is good (well, adequate + cheap = good) but it really needs to breathe a lot before drinking. So I took a straw and blew lots of bubbles in my glass. It worked like a charm but I have a feeling purists might scoff. I remember something about not 'bruising the wine' being important. Whatever. It's an eight dollar bottle.

Ugh. When I went to the Times site to get that page, I was confronted with all that reality that's going on today. Today after all the news came down all of us in the office that run radio stations got together and figured out what we were going to do when things start happening. I mean, we kind of already knew; goodness knows we've had enough time to plan, but we just finalized those plans as much as we could. It's kind of a surreal experience, planning for all this.

I'm hoping nothing happens tonight so that I can go out dancing.

2003-03-15T07:50:00.000-06:00

It's early. I've been up for three hours already and watched the sun rise. I had a horrible cry-in-my-office-for-an-hour day yesterday and went home an hour early and just wanted the day to end. I made macaroni and cheese and a vodka martini and went to bed at 5.

It was good stuff.

So I got up today at 5 with my eyes still swollen and felt better. I'm going to a peace march today where one of my favorite local bands is playing. It's foggy now but should turn out to be a beautiful day, and I'm looking forward to standing in the sunshine and feeling positive.

I also bought a pair of boots yesterday. Yeah, just in time for summer. Whatever; that's how you get them cheap.

Very much enjoying Soviet. Perfect: a few days after I discover them, they're coming to play in my town! Although listening to all this synth-pop is making my head hurt with all its high-end bleeps and blips. I need to download a good equalizer and/or listen through headphones.

2003-03-13T19:18:00.000-06:00

The new issue of New York Magazine is the real estate porn issue. They don't call it that but there's no reason why they shouldn't. I think about getting a place all the time and it drives me nuts. I don't know why I want one. I just want to own a piece of the city.

The boyfriend and I are actually using an apartment in Rome as a motivator. You know, like once we're 50 we'll have enough money to buy one and live there part of the year. It's a nice dream. Maybe it could even happen. You never know.

If you haven't noticed, I'm heavy-duty into the escapism right now. Freedom fries will do that to you.

2003-03-12T19:26:00.000-06:00

Okay, I'm reallllly digging the laptop. The boyfriend came in and asked if he needed to cut me off. Finally getting the hang of Soulseek, too. Listening to Soviet now.

2003-03-11T19:51:00.000-06:00

The guy on the right? Too sexy for his hat.

C'mon, that's a great look he's giving us! I actually thought this guy was quite hot when I saw him on the cover of USA today this morning until I realized he was a killing machine and probably 15 besides.

Crap, boyfriend's home. Caught in the act.

2003-03-10T17:11:00.000-06:00

At a law school party the other night; horrible. At one point the boyfriend's study partner leaned over to me and said, "What does it say about this group that the average age is 27 and everyone's doing jello shots?" I thought that was great and mentioned it to my morning show partner this morning. He didn't laugh. Now that I think about it, radio get-togethers are that silly too. I don't know what I'm looking for in a party here, cool sophisticates listening to dub and drinking things out of martini glasses? No. (Okay, maybe.) The difference is that law folk are jocky superachievers and radio folk are burnout superachievers. (Kind of a weird subset, I know, but it's true.) When I walked into the law school party, they were playing the Avril album. I was mortified but secretly excited to hear the tracks that weren't singles.

2003-03-09T17:14:00.000-06:00

Hey, look, we're not at war. I'm not going to mention it again. Probably.

Everybody's linking to World Of Ends but it really is worth a read.

It is time for more escapist fashion!!

The more I see the Louis Vuitton Spring 2003 collection, the more I really like it. Now that it's moved from runway snaps onto editorial pages and into stores, I'm really impressed with the clothes. LV has always been a status label that made status bags, bags that I never really cared for despite their lovely workmanship. Marc Jacobs does their clothing, and although I thought his collection for his own label was perfectly adequate and no more, the ready-to-wear from LV was just...darling. It's minnie mouse stuff with bows and piping that I never thought I'd like for myself but keep coming back to. In much the same way, I finally saw some of Zac Posen's stuff (in Vogue again) and there was one dress in particular, the Cleopatra's Garden Dress, that I WANTED TO EAT, it was so lovely. Fine, now I see what the fuss is about.

More escapism later; the boyfriend is calling.

2003-03-06T20:45:00.000-06:00

Watching the press conference and surprised that Bush is even doing a live press conference. He says he doesn't want to go to war.

Looking at the almanac, I'd guess it's all starting Sunday:

U.S. Naval Observatory
Astronomical Applications Department

Sun and Moon Data for One Day
The following information is provided for (longitude E44.4, latitude N33.3):

Sunday
9 March 2003 Universal Time + 2h

SUN
Begin civil twilight 04:57
Sunrise 05:22
Sun transit 11:13
Sunset 17:05
End civil twilight 17:30

MOON
Moonset 21:58 on preceding day
Moonrise 08:41
Moon transit 15:45
Moonset 22:56
Moonrise 09:16 on following day

Phase of the Moon on 9 March: waxing crescent with 32% of the Moon's visible disk illuminated.

First quarter Moon on 11 March 2003 at 09:15 (Universal Time + 2h).

Data from the US Naval Observatory. It's gonna get really hot over there if we wait much longer.

This is not a warblog; we will return to fashion coverage later.

2003-03-06T05:20:00.000-06:00

Tuesday night's 24 was incredible. I feel foolish for letting a television show affect me, but man, it put the big atomic fear in me in a way that I haven't felt since the Reagan years. It was a weird place to be; I'd kind of forgotten how even as a kid, that cloud of paranoia was hanging over all of us. Maybe I was just a paranoid kid, but I remember everyone else talking about how scared The Day After made them. I never saw it.

2003-03-04T05:24:00.000-06:00

Whee hoo. Blogging from my new laptop. For now this just means that I can do the internet while watching television in the living room, thus packing more information into my brain for the morning. I don't even have a carrying case for it yet, but of course I'm window-shopping for one.

Yesterday morning I officially got the 10-year high school reunion email. What a punch in the head. The lady doing the organizing was a nice girl; I sat next to her in my auto shop class and probably a lot of the others as well, since there were only a hundred people in my graduating class and she was tracked with me. So actually it didn't fill me with dread the way I thought it might. Still don't know if I'll go, since I ran pretty far away when I left. In a number of senses.

You think when you leave that if you ever go back, you'll have it figured out; you'll be full of confidence and the bastards will not get you down. Now I know that's the very least of my issues. I didn't even know how far away I could get from that place, and I'm guessing my classmates may not have known how far they could go either. I live in such an ivory-tower town now; people have no concept of the rural poor. I grew up with kids who didn't have telephones, who were sleeping several to a room, who had dirt floors, who had wildly dysfunctional families. A lot of the kids dropped out to work in the fields with their parents. Others got pregnant and dropped out. One girl got hit by a car and died when she was collecting scrap metal along the highway with her family. My parents had a three-bedroom ranch and I thought we were living in the lap of luxury. I hated a lot of these kids, but I liked a lot of them too. I'm rooting for all of them now.

2003-02-28T20:28:00.000-06:00

Pearl River Mall moved! It's now at 477 Broadway near Grand. Someone tell me what's in the old space. Whatta great place.

Oh crap. I forgot to scan in some of the pictures from the new Vogue. Spring fashion issue, dontcha know, and an inch thick. They did a section on up-and-coming designers and included Jun Takahashi, who I've been following for five or six years now, ever since I saw this great collection of his with silkscreens of Bela Lugosi as Dracula on big coats and capes. He designs for Undercover now and showed his first collection in Paris last October. Go Jun.

2003-02-27T18:24:00.000-06:00

My best girl is away for the weekend but she left me the funniest post.

I drank a bottle of wine the other night with my friend the mom. She cooked dinner for me and the boyfriend, and while we were hanging out in the kitchen cooking, we drank a bottle, then we drank another at dinner. The stupid boys did not help us with this at all. It was a huge dinner with cheesecake for desert, and I actually got so drunk and full that I had to secretly puke in her bathroom. Quite shameful. B/f was laughing at me when we got home because I passed out in bed and he said he couldn't roll me over. (Couldn't possibly be true; he's at least twice my weight and v. strong.) He also said I spoke in tongues to him.

Hey, look, AudioBlogger! From the Audblog folks. We'll see where this goes.

Best blog by an 11 year-old. Heck, best blog I've seen in a while.

2003-02-27T04:52:00.000-06:00

A moment of remembrance for Mr. Rogers.

Spend some time with your imagination today.

2003-02-26T18:21:00.000-06:00

So Ali G has finally made his way to this side of the Atlantic. The first episode was "Law And Order" and the little lawyer bird boyfriend thought it was genius. Very often we find British humor delightful but excruciating.

Deleting rest of post about fear of being poor because too tipsy to choose right words. Do want to emphasize that fear of being poor does not equal desire to be rich.

Bah.

2003-02-25T05:12:00.000-06:00

I really wish I could find the time to post more often. The spyware at work officially went into action last week, though they haven't made it public yet.

Looking forward to talking about the duct tape thing on the radio. I showed this to a co-worker with resident alien status yesterday and he said, "Why haven't you people staged a revolution?"

I dreamed about NYC last night but didn't get to walk around in the city...I was at a conference or something at NYU and checked into my dorm room on the top floor, so at least I saw the skyline.

The boyfriend had a Orange Alert dream a few nights ago where he got drafted and sent to the Gulf but his company was a bunch of slackers and they just hung out and made jokes about having a government job and played Playstation games. Their commander was named Captain Gaylord Sinclair and they made fun of him. I told him about my dream where people with tattered clothes were walking through the streets of New York and he interrupted me and said, "but then it turned out it was just Fashion Week, right?"

He's still very pleased with himself for that one.

2003-02-22T11:12:00.000-06:00

Holy crap. I'm getting a laptop.

Here's my path. I check blogdex for interesting things, see a link to a $799 Lindows superlight notebook. I check the citations to see who's talking about this and what they have to say. Slashdot is one of the links, so I see what their community has to say about it. Pros and cons are discussed, and someone says, well, that's kind of expensive considering this deal from Dell: "Celeron 1.6GHz, 256MB RAM, 20GB HD for $595."

So I got it. It's not as light as the Lindows machine, but it has a CD-ROM drive and a lot of other good things. I'm a little disappointed that I'm not going to get to play around with Linux, which I've always wanted to do, but hey.

I see blogdex is also throwing up this piece-of-crap editorial that has a few good points but is pretty conspiracy-theorist to be running in the Times. I'm personally desparate for a good new protest song, and I'm trying to find old ones that might fit the mood too. "Ohio" is one of the best songs around; the curmudgeon in me wants to say they're not making them like that anymore. Neil's about due for a new album, isn't he? Okay, yeah, my station's not owned by a huge corporation, but we're not a crunchy public station either--we're a very successful and very commercial station. Even leaving aside the politics of it, controversy attracts attention.

Man, I'm hung over and cranky. I'm going to go read a book or something.

2003-02-20T19:05:00.000-06:00

I am listening to the Hives, drinking, and having way too much fun on the internet. I'm going to lose the meagre social skills I have.

Wow, that Hives album needs to be longer. I went looking for my copy of Raw Power but couldn't find it, saw Nellyville and thought that might be a good idea, then saw Master of Puppets and settled on that.

It was a good choice.

2003-02-18T18:33:00.000-06:00

Update: The boyfriend comes home:

Boyfriend: Hey! Are you on the computer?
Me: Yeah, I had to read everything I missed on the internet. Did you hear Google bought Blogger?
Boyfriend: Google bought Blogger? Holy shit! I don't know what that means! (glances at pile of mail on desk, reads aloud:) "Spring Fashion, New York." Jesus. Where's my dice? I'm going to be gaming at M_____'s."

Tee hee.

Also, SALYT has moved. I love this site.

2003-02-18T17:54:00.000-06:00

Halloo, I'm back. Tragic that I had to be away in the middle of NYC Fashion Week, I know, but I wasn't going to give up record labels buying me drinks in paradise. Will filter fashion for you later, promise.

I've been on the boyfriend's dialup for hours trying to catch up on things. Paradise doesn't come with the internet, which I think is part of what makes it paradise. The best part is when you forget the internet (although paradoxically you don't realize you've forgotten).

I can't believe Google bought Blogger. My mind is reeling with the possibilities. I always tend to freak out a little about any sort of media consolidiation, but really, these are two of the coolest companies out there. I'm optimistic. Read the links at the bottom of the above article; there's some really good stuff. Interconnected in particular has a nice dense reaction that predicts as likely a scenario as anything.

Somewhat lost in the panel discussion in which the buyout happened to be announced was the introduction of AudBlog, which is kind of interesting but isn't a killer app or anything, IMO. I want someone to put something together where I can make a phone call and dictate a post. I'm guessing speech recognition technology isn't there yet, and once I get WiFi and a laptop, the issue becomes pretty moot, given how fast I type. (Easy for me to say, here on my boyfriend's computer & dialup.)

There's a lot of stuff I want to write about. I got some good gossip on Phil Spector while I was away. (Not surprisingly, the friend-of-Phil doesn't think he did it, or if he did, it was an accident, but he had some good details about the layout of the house and how Phil's help is instructed to deal with new visitors, etc.)

Liberal Radio Is Planned by Rich Group of Democrats (NYT link). Haw haw. Actually, it would be great if the genius of the Daily Show could be brought to the radio. However, it would be impossible to sustain a show/network like this if one were rudely deprived of the rich comedy motherlode that the Democratic Party has become.

This is really good, about smart kids and nerds and popularity. I'm going to send it to my parents so they can get it to my (mostly younger) cousins.

Ooh, and girlfriend, check out the Eggers article.

2003-02-12T11:26:00.000-06:00

Last night I was all nervous and anxious and worried, and worried that I was anxious over the terror thing, and mad that I might be because it's just so worthless, you know.

Then I remembered that I had a soda at 2 in the afternoon, which I never do because I usually don't like soda and I don't do caffeine after 10 in the morning. So I wrote it off as crazy chemicals.

I lie in bed watching 24, the best show around at the moment, wishing we got President Palmer because he's such a badass. (Although I'm not down with this torture thing that's been going on.) (President Palmer is also HOTT.) The boyfriend is next to me and I keep thinking about how he's the source of all goodness and how much I'm going to miss him when I go on this little tiny business trip in a few days. I give him an elbow in the ribs and he throws his big muscley arm around me and squeezes me close.

When I fell asleep I dreamed of New York City. I was in a building with dirty windows, and when I looked through the window, I could see people walking by on ground level. Then when I rubbed the grime away, I could see that there was rubble in the streets and the people outside were dirty and their clothes were torn. They didn't seem aware of any of it; like only I could see the troubles by looking through this glass. Something bad was going on.

And actually once I went outside and talked to people, they knew that something bad was going on, but they didn't care much. Let's go out and get a drink, they said! It's New York City!

2003-02-11T18:17:00.000-06:00

Having spent the better part of a 12-hour day at work in front of a computer, I come home and promptly get online again.

Word is I should be stockpiling food, but no.

I think this is a really great idea. I'm such a big fan of public, reasoned debate.

And finally: Awww.

2003-02-10T18:15:00.000-06:00

Believe it or not, I have gossip about John Tesh.

Calm down.

It's not exciting goat-related gossip, it's just stupid radio gossip. And I really can't repeat it, because it's not nice to tell secrets. And believe it or not, I have nothing against John Tesh. Stay tuned; I'm sure all will be revealed.

2003-02-07T11:33:00.000-06:00

Breaking my resolution not to blog at work because I must shout into the ether: I HATE THE STUPID COLOR ALERT SYSTEM.

I don't have anything intelligent to say about this; I'm just sputtering at the moment. There must be a better way to deal with all this.

2003-02-06T05:29:00.000-06:00

Ranted a couple of times about radio issues on MetaFilter the last couple of days, and felt like it was kind of worthless. I always wait until way too long in the life of a thread before I decide I have something worthwhile to say, and by that time everyone's moved on. I just get peeved when MeFi starts sounding like the Moral Majority talking about how the media is a cultural wasteland, and the people need to be saved from their own 'bad taste.'

In other news, it's hard to get a job. I'm kind of afraid to start trying, especially since the radio and record industry seems to be doing even worse. I found out yesterday that one of the smaller record labels is shutting down (I don't want to mention who because I've only heard this from one person, and you likely wouldn't care about their artists anyway, which is the reason they're shutting down, I expect).

Yesterday on the air I was talking about the two designs that were selected as semifinalist plans for the WTC site. Although some people are saying the THINK design (NYT link) is too visually close to the original twin towers, I really like it. A woman emailed me later and said that she also prefered that design and pointed me toward the animation that's available on the NYT site (click on 'Envisioning Downtown' from the link above). She thought it was just like I said, like the ghosts of the towers watching over the city, and that seing the animation and realizing the design made her cry.

This kind of stuff makes my life. I don't even remember saying that, and in a way I try so hard to forget that people are listening (so that I don't freak out), but when someone takes the time to talk back, it just kills me. It's amazing to get so excited about something that you have to call a friend, say "I'm so angry" or "let's go to this play" or "holy crap, have you heard this new album?" I'm lucky enough to do this on a bigger scale, but the emotions are the same, and that's what makes it so good. We've got to keep it pure like that.

2003-02-04T05:23:00.000-06:00

Nothing like waking up and realizing that you'll probably have a couple of good fights that day. I have two meetings today with the person voted Most Likely To Fight With Programming. He's in the business to make money, we're in the business because we don't give a shit about money. You see the conflict. It's nothing really about him in particular, it's just his role in the company. I kind of admire him, because he gets things done. But that doesn't make him any less of a pain in the ass.

The job I was thinking about applying for in Big City got filled yesterday. They hired someone who does that exact same job at another radio station in the city. Am I fooling myself by thinking I'm a legitimate contender for these kind of jobs? I think I'm really good at mine, but some people in the big cities only want people who are already in a big city. Oh well. Nothing worth worrying about.

I'm going to refrain from thinking too much about the Phil Spector thing for the moment. Poor lady.

2003-01-30T18:50:00.000-06:00

I told myself I was going to start a resume tonight but I lied lied lied. I wish I could just write "I Am Smart" on a piece of paper and send it in.

But that wouldn't be very smart.

I seriously just this moment found this site GirlComic...I can't believe I've never seen it before. Awesome.

I've thought a bit about trying to hone my craft, make my funny better. I have great opportunities to be funny because I'm on the radio in the morning (which I swear isn't as bad as it sounds; it's not one of those stupid morning zoo shows with boys making dick jokes and bubbly girls being the laugh track. I hate that so much.) but at the same time radio comedy can be very transient. Unless you develop a good running gag, you just think of a joke, make it, and then it's over. It's not like being a stand-up comedian where you refine and reuse your material. Not that standup is easy or anything, not at all, but it's different. Anyway, I like crafting jokes, but it's something I could work a lot harder at and maybe be a lot better at. I never realized it before now, but a lot of my heroes are funny women. Janeane Garofalo, Margaret Cho, my best friend.

It's one of the best things in the world to laugh, right up there with dancing and the dirty stuff.

2003-01-29T17:22:00.000-06:00

One time Dave Wakeling from the (English) Beat came to town and came to the station for an interview and all that. It was awesome. I mean, the fucking English Beat! He was opening for a reggae band, Black Uhuru I think. He and his band were all great folks, and I think they couldn't believe that they'd stepped off a long (and I imagine not terribly rewarding) road of gigs into this stupid commercial radio station and all the DJs there were just gaga over all of them. I got the sense somehow that Dave had gotten used to being forgotten.

I tell you now: Don't forget the English Beat. They're super important and they rock.

We all went to the show and all us DJs and a couple of dates and friends were almost half the audience. There were really only about 20 people in the room when they started. We ordered pitchers and pitchers of Newcastles and danced like crazy. I'm not a dancer, but several pints plus the fucking English Beat would make anyone dance.

So again, Dave's onstage with this crack band and sees all of us being utter fools by ourselves on the dance floor. He sang like it was Royal Albert Hall packed to the rafters.

The English Beat, I tell you!

I Confess!
Mirror In The Bathroom!
Tears of a Clown!
Ranking Full Stop!
Hands Off She's Mine!
Save It For Fucking Later!

After the show we went backstage with them and talked about all sorts of wonderful music. Everybody rolled joints and got excited about life.

2003-01-28T17:50:00.000-06:00

Erm, yes, sorry. Got interrupted by the boyfriend coming home early and didn't finish my thought on wine racks. (That last sentence is so blogspot it makes me want to shoot myself.)

Wine racks are for storage. Storage is for wine drinkers who can be arsed to get off the couch and get a bottle of regular wine and resist the temptation to just break into the really nice bottle they've been saving. I'm not living inside that particular Venn. I'm definitely of the wine is for drinking and not saving camp.

Blogging from home is so awful! I'm just brain-dead by the end of the day and am trying to forget everything that happened in the day so that I don't fret all night long. I should just say fuck 'em all and resume normal operations.

2003-01-27T16:03:00.000-06:00

Lookit me, home earlier than normal! Actually doesn't count as was working lots yesterday. Had to go to the store to get food since I didn't have a chance yesterday and they were having a wine sale.

Man, I love wine. It's great when you match it to a good meal, but I'm having mine with veggie corn dogs right now and it's still mighty fine. I bought two bottles (a pinot noir and a sangiovese) and I already had two bottles at home. So I think, hey, maybe I'm at the point where a wine rack would be a nice thing to have around. Then I immediately dismiss the thought.

I'm not a wine rack person. Maybe some day if I was fabulously wealthy I might have a cellar, but I doubt it. I'm not a wine rack person because I'm fundamentally lazy.

2003-01-23T19:35:00.000-06:00

Sorry. I've been horrible about blogging since I resolved not to blog from work. Has it really been three days? This month is flying by.

So the stripey Kenneth Cole sweater won't be arriving until early February, and it'll be arriving sans boots...apparently they were out. The good news is I did a freelance job today that would pay for three stripey sweaters! After seven years in radio I've for the most part managed to stop being so baffled that I get paid to talk on the radio (esp. now since I run the damn station and get paid to do things that aren't quite as fun as talk about music). Doing freelance voice work is still surreal though...walk into a studio, read a few pages into a mic, walk out with a check. Sometimes you just get lucky.

Other problem about blogging from home: I've programmed myself to dump all information from brain as I walk through the door, so now I don't remember what I've been wanting to blog about for the last few days. It's a protective strategy that works pretty well, so I'm not willing to give up the data dump. Kinda like the beer I'm currently enjoying.

I'm listening to my 70s Soul Experience Box Set..."Thin Line Between Love and Hate" by the Persuaders. Damn. Compare their lyrics with the Pretenders' version. Damn.

2003-01-20T18:50:00.000-06:00

Cheap fake Prada bag is falling apart and I need a change so it's new bag for me. Luckily there was a new one waiting in the wings from my last trip to NYC so it's not like I was spending new money. New bag is much smaller than old bag, really positively tiny, which I like. But it's a bit of a juggle to get everything to fit.

In bag: Wallet, cell phone, CLIE, Sony digital camera, keys, Burt's Bees lip balm, checkbook, pen, lip gloss.

I used to be anti-purse and I still pretty much am, except it's like being anti-pants. All well and good in theory, y'know.

I used to just stuff some money in a pocket and go (if I had money). Then I got a driver's licence, and a credit card, and all that hooha and you start needing a wallet. And a wallet doesn't fit well in girls' pants, not even in baggy jeans. Then a couple of years ago I finally caved and got a cell phone because I had to be on call for work all the time.

Once you get a purse you start accumulating things. The bigger the bag, the more crap you haul around. Strictly speaking, I could slim down to just the wallet, phone, CLIE, lip balm and keys. But I like the camera, and you never know when you're going to have a great shot present itself. The checkbook, pen and lip gloss hardly take up any room.

Last time I was at Saks, I almost asked about those new Spring 2003 Louis Vuitton bags. I hate Vuitton bags--rampant logophilia, you know, and not my style anyway--but the new ones with the eyeballs are such weird fun. I would never buy one but I'd like to look at one up close. Fat chance; I know it's the 'it bag' of this season.

What do boys think about all day?

2003-01-19T17:35:00.000-06:00

Whirlwind weekend!

After work on Friday, Boyfriend and I went to Big City for schmooze-ola party with record label. Party was much less fabulous than expected, but still a fine time. The main point here was to meet new boss of Big City radio station, who was very late to party. New boss has position open that I'm very much interested in, but the trouble is, it's open now and I'm not wanting to move to Big City for a year or so. Beggars can't be choosers, though. He seemed like an okay fellow despite being late (I'm an on-time sort of person) and I've heard good things about him otherwise. However, I was half a bottle of wine into the evening before he showed up. Oh well.

The party was at the record label person's house, a near-mansion. Her husband is a lawyer at the second-biggest firm in town. The boyfriend has a job waiting for him at the biggest firm in town. Boyfriend was a little freaked out at the parallels of the situation and the size of the house. They had, as they say, stupid money. What really put him over the edge was their complaining about their au pair leaving and how it's so hard to find a good one.

The boyfriend drove me to his parents' house for the night and I woke up the next morning with a hangover. I swallowed it and smiled through the morning. His mom and stepdad live in the suburbs: white flight. They're quite skeptical of our desire to live in the city. His stepdad pulled out a big map of the city that he uses in his work for a city utility. Certain parts of the map were marked as 'blighted' and the workers have to go in pairs and/or with a police officer when they make a house call. The street we were on the previous night, the street with a gate and half-million dollar houses up and down it, was marked as blighted.

We left and drove an hour to have lunch with his dad, who still lives just outside the city. He told us that his dad was in intensive care recovering from cancer surgery, so we decide to visit him too. He was in a VA hospital in a bad part of the city. The hospital looked kind of grungey. There were smirking pictures of GW and Cheney in the lobby. We wandered up to the ICU and saw Grampa, who I really love. He had lost a lot of weight but he was in great spirits. He's still a very handsome man, with sharp eyes and a bold Middle Eastern nose. They only let us visit for fifteen minutes.

We went to a restaurant downtown then, for a surprise birthday party for an old college friend. His wife organized it and did a great job. There were about thirty of us she had gathered together from all over the country. We ate and then went to a hockey game, the first I've ever watched including on TV. It was good fun and made me want to ice-skate. After the game we went to a bar in the building where his wife had set everyone up with free beer and munchies. I took lots of pictures. It was stellar. We drove home late.

2003-01-16T19:23:00.000-06:00

Dude, I just got home. Notice time of this post vs. time of last post. Ridic.

2003-01-16T05:19:00.000-06:00

Hey. Good morning. This is when my day starts. Actually, I'm a little bit into it already because it took me a while to make the boyfriend's computer work right.

I'm reading up on a few newspapers before I go do my radio show and thought I might as well blog since I didn't make an entry yesterday. A little bird told me that my company's installing spyware to track our surfing habits. After my last entry, I'm suspicious of coincidence.

I do think that nearly all my surfing is defensible (that's the wonderful thing about trying to find interesting things to talk about on the radio). Some of the shopping probably is not (I got that cute stripey sweater and the boots, BTW), but seeing as I spend an average of 12 hours at work every day, usually without a lunch break, I think a little recreational surfing to cleanse the palate is excusable.

Of course, I don't get to make the decisions about what's excusable and what's not. Fair enough.

So no more blogging at work. And if anyone knows a good web-based free email that's not a stupid domain and littered with spam, let me know. I'm thinking about just getting my own domain again now.

Oh, I forgot to mention last time, chachacha.co.uk sidebar-linked me for some reason and that was very nice, so I've returned the favor. They're fun. Visit them through the link so they can see in their referrer logs that I love them back.

2003-01-14T13:30:00.000-06:00

I'm back from vacation but I couldn't post yesterday because my life was full of vaginas.

I try not to blog about work even though I have a very sexy job as a DJ and meet all kinds of fabulous famous people who are usually more sleep-deprived and patient than fabulous. I know this makes the blog a little more boring, but I don't feel comfortable about describing the specifics of work for a variety of reasons (Dooce, anyone?).

But the fucking vaginas put me over the edge.

Here is the less sexy side of working at a radio station: I come back from vacation to find that a salesperson has sold a contract to the producer of the Vagina M0nologues in which my station and one of my sister stations will be sponsoring the production. We'll be mentioning the production and ticket information on the air.

We'll be mentioning this twice an hour. Every hour. For the next month and a half.

Also, we'll be creating contests in which listeners can win tickets to the production, and we'll be promoting these contests every day.

It goes on.

Needless to say, neither station authorized this kind of activity.

So I wrote an incredibly polite memo about this to the appropriate parties and was looking forward to sorting everything out today, but the appropriate parties are hiding from my vengeful wrath. They should know they're not helping their situation any.

Now, I have nothing against vaginas. Quite to the contrary.

But if I were to put myself in the shoes of one of the awesome listeners to my radio station (who I would guess, on the whole, also have nothing against vaginas), I think I might get just a wee bit tired of hearing about vaginas twice an hour, every hour, every day for 45 days.

Vagina vagina vagina vagina. Vagina.

Some DJs might be thrilled at the prospect of saying "vagina" on the radio twice an hour. I am not one of these DJs.

There will not be nearly as much vaginal activity going on my radio as this salesperson might expect.

2003-01-09T12:42:00.000-06:00

shh. I'm on vacation. Back on Monday.

2003-01-02T17:24:00.000-06:00

Happy new year and all that.

I love these big panorama 360 things, and they made one for Times Square for New Year's, yay. Do not attempt on dial-up; it'll take a while on a good connection even.

Also finally Matt got that ticket stub site off the ground; we've been waiting for, like, forever already. (Sorry, that's me being peevish and ungrateful for Matt's good work in making the net a better place, in case it didn't come off as you know I meant it.)

Mmmm. Look at all that champagne. The hostess of the New Year's Eve party I went to (hands also pictured above) and I resolved to go to wine tastings together every month or so. She's a mother and a pretty good one at that. The party was waist-deep with kids under three. Her boy is coming up on his third birthday, I think, and he's the best of the lot. I'm not just saying that because he likes me, although it does speak well of him, doesn't it?

This mom is a year or so younger than me and I kind of envy her (in a weird way) for her early (for our college-educated crowd) start on motherhood. If I wanted to be a mom I would have gotten right on that train. As it is I'm happy to play with her non-spoiled, sensible child. And you know I hate kids, so you know he must be a little charmer. Oh, I actually told him once that I didn't like kids, and in a very sympathetic tone of voice he said, "Yeah." Priceless.

There was a mom-to-be at the party who left shortly after I arrived. I think she was feeling bad (she's due soon) but it's likely my arriving was the last straw. She's my nemesis. She's also big as a barn and covered with spots. Almost makes me not despise her, poor thing. She's one of those people who's wanted a baby her whole life and until now has poured her maternal instinct into three million houseplants and cats. (Let me say for the record that the reasons I don't like her are merely supplements to the enmity felt on a molecular level; there are some people you just dislike on sight for no reason, you know?)

Um. I forgot what my point was. Boo kids, yay new year I suppose.

2002-12-31T10:40:00.000-06:00

Really really want.

2002-12-30T20:34:00.000-06:00

The boyfriend bought me a couple of lovely things for xmas, including the Neil Young biography Shakey. I'm a huge Neil fan but haven't spent much time with him lately; I feel a revival coming on.

Also he got me this collection of NYC maps that I'm sure will give me many hours of fascination. I want to frame some of them for sure; they're beautiful.

2002-12-27T13:48:00.000-06:00

Next year I'm going to take off the week of New Year's so I can devote more attention to the post-holiday sales. I hear they have great ones in London, and wouldn't that be fun? Seriously, get yerself over to Saks to check out their sale. Then, reeling from those marked-down-but-still-ludicrous prices, go to Kenneth Cole and those sales will seem quite reasonable in comparison. See? It's really a fine art of denial and deception, this shopping thing.

2002-12-26T12:09:00.000-06:00

Well, I didn't hit the powerball thingy. Metafilter has been down since xmas...must be Matt's way of telling us all to get a life. The interweb was not much fun on xmas. I caught up on a lot of NY Times articles, got pissed and ate cookies, and went to bed early. Quite enjoyable.

I'm still fairly mad over this Joe Strummer thing.

2002-12-25T14:16:00.000-06:00

So this morning I played lots and lots of xmas music on the radio. Some of my favorites I played twice, like "Fairytale of New York". It's just coincidence that I'm obsessed with NYC and this is also one of my favorite songs.

It was Christmas Eve babe
In the drunk tank
An old man said to me, won't see another one
And then he sang a song
The Rare Old Mountain Dew
I turned my face away
And dreamed about you

But it did make me think about Christmas in the city.

Got on a lucky one
Came in eighteen to one
I've got a feeling
This year's for me and you
So happy Christmas
I love you baby
I can see a better time
When all our dreams come true

I sent the boyfriend off to see his family this morning with the two bottles of wine he'd bought for his mother and father. He spent more than a hundred dollars on the two bottles; he always spends too much money buying presents.

They've got cars big as bars
They've got rivers of gold
But the wind goes right through you
It's no place for the old
When you first took my hand
On a cold Christmas Eve
You promised me
Broadway was waiting for me

I wonder what would happen if I paid off his credit card for him? Would he get mad? Probably.

You were handsome
You were pretty
Queen of New York City
When the band finished playing
They howled out for more
Sinatra was swinging,
All the drunks they were singing
We kissed on a corner
Then danced through the night

I wrapped the bottles of wine for him...he's really bad at gift-wrapping, which I find endearing. I wrapped them in blue tissue paper and drew designs on them. The tissue paper was delicate, though, and I was nervous that he'd tear the paper when handling them, or worse, drop them. So I went in the broom closet where I keep all the bags I brought back from New York.

The boys of the NYPD choir
Were singing "Galway Bay"
And the bells were ringing out
For Christmas day

Sanrio, Takashimaya, Yellow Rat Bastard, Neiman Marcus, Kiehl's, Barneys. I picked out a small plain bag. Obsessive.

You're a bum
You're a punk
You're an old slut on junk
Lying there almost dead on a drip in that bed
You scumbag, you maggot
You cheap lousy faggot
Happy Christmas your arse
I pray God it's our last

The roads were awful yesterday; we had to do traffic updates pretty much nonstop all day. I checked everything when I was at work though and things look good. I still worry about him when he travels, though, in that little crappy car of his.

I could have been someone
Well so could anyone
You took my dreams from me
When I first found you
I kept them with me babe
I put them with my own
Can't make it all alone
I've built my dreams around you

2002-12-24T11:23:00.000-06:00

I have no idea what this ad is all about, but it amuses and frightens me at the same time. I must be missing the concept completely.

2002-12-24T10:32:00.000-06:00

This is my most humbuggy xmas ever, I think. It just started snowing; maybe that'll help. I just can't bring myself to give a damn, but I'm not trying too hard either.

I will be alone xmas after the boyfriend leaves in the morning to see his family. I haven't gotten any presents for anyone except my parents. The boyfriend told me last night he wants game books (like D&D). So the game store will probably not be crowded...that's cool. I hate xmas shopping. It would be kind of fun if everyone wasn't doing it at once. And the kids, and the music, and people shoving...it's awful. I don't think kids should get presents. Okay, they should get presents, but only, like, three.

I'll likely be working on xmas. I don't really mind working over the break because it helps out people who think xmas is important, and so many people take vacation that the workplace is kind of calm. You can slack or really concentrate on a project as you see fit.

The whole record side of the industry pretty much takes off the last three weeks of the year. They always call with their last records they're promoting for the year and ask what our plans are for the holidays. Where will we be going? Will we see any family? Wow, won't it be nice to have a break? In radio, of course, we don't get a break, and you think some of them would know that. But you know they're just being polite and you don't want to bring them down. So I always say something like, oh, I'm just going to take it easy, nothing special. Instead of the truth, which is, I can't very well power down the radio station now, can I, so I'll be working a double shift so someone else can see their family for the day.

No, that would be rude to say that. And pointless for everyone involved, because I wouldn't even get the satisfaction of complaining. Because I'm not unhappy, which is the weird part. I feel like it's unpatriotic or something to not care about xmas or having to work over the holiday. But there you go.

2002-12-23T16:26:00.000-06:00

Lance pretty accurately nails that first Prada purchase.

2002-12-23T15:53:00.000-06:00

My senior year of high school Alex liked me.

He parked down the street from my house and played the new Sonic Youth album really loud and didn't get out.

He would intercept me as I walked to auto shop class. He'd say hello in Spanish and make me say it back.

I liked Alex too but I didn't really know what to do with him since we couldn't understand each other very well. Sometimes he would talk to me in Spanish and I'd catch every fourth word. Mostly we just traded tapes. He gave me Caifanes and Solucion Mortal and some others; I gave him L7. We both liked the Cure and heavy metal.

He was from Mexicali. He had this habit of never putting gas in his ancient truck until it ran bone dry. I told him it was bad for the engine because it sucked sediment at the bottom of the tank through the lines but he didn't care.

We kissed sometimes but it didn't really go beyond that.

I still have a shirt he gave me, an old Pendleton wool shirt that'll last 50 years if the moths don't eat it.

I wonder where he is.

2002-12-23T09:59:00.000-06:00

Joe Strummer: Why why why why why.

Will the kids know now? Will they know how cool he was? Will they listen? Will they get it?

2002-12-20T11:13:00.000-06:00

That post below was supposed to be posted on the 18th, but I couldn't get Blogger to work without a mouse since the boyfriend stole it to use with his laptop. Same for yesterday, when I was going to blog a dream about me and my mom in Harlem. I don't really remember the dream now. I checked out The Nanny Diaries from the library and am halfway through it. It's pretty funny and has a lot of very realistic touches, like all the kids having ridiculous names. The kid the narrator takes care of is named Grayer.

Oh, that reminds me. I went over to a co-workers house last night for this little fun project that all the women in the company are working on. She's a morning DJ at my sister station. Also there was the (female) morning DJ at another sister station. So it was all us radio ladies, very fun. The woman who was hostess has two kids, a girl who's 7 or 8 and a boy who's 4. The boy was fairly quiet but the girl was a bit of a terror. Not ill-behaved really, just in-your-face, really into whatever you were doing. Not shy at all. When I was little, I was so shy that I would burst into tears and run away if a stranger spoke to me, and while it wasn't really fun for me, I wish more kids were like that.

I'm stunningly inappropriate when I talk to people about their kids; I wish I could help it but I can't. So at some point when the kids tear past us on the stairs, I burst out with, "I don't know how you manage it." She's a good sport, though, and laughs back at me, "Oh, I drink. A lot! And smoke!" "I'm already drinking," I wail. "I'd have to go to something much harder!" Then I finally manage to shut up.

2002-12-20T10:51:00.000-06:00

Went home sick from work today, which I do practically never. Looks suspicious since Lord of the Rings opens today, but I'm actually sick and spent most of the day asleep.

My latest sweet gift from the universe is that I got made a moderator at People Talk Too Loud, a music discussion forum that I've been hanging around for a little over a year now. It's a small, close-knit group that's also remarkably friendly to newbies, and we've acquired some good participants in the past few months, but a couple of bad eggs will sneak in every so often. So the people who run it have recruited some of us who've been around a while to be extra eyes on the board to keep things civil. I feel ridiculously close to all these strangers; it's just one of those cool things about the interweb.

One of our newest members is Maggie Sonic, and I really hope she stays around. She's got a great blog and she's very involved in music as an artist/producer sort. Very cool; we have a number of people on the board who can offer this perspective and the women totally reprazent. Maggie also refers to her s.o. with the definite article, so I immediately felt a bond there.

Why 'the boyfriend' and not 'my boyfriend'? I like how it makes him so big and real in my head. I also think using the definite article does this magic word trick that nothing else could acomplish because it removes the possesive aspect (nobody owns anyone here) but then it also names him as the one, the only one, the boyfriend.

Yeah.

2002-12-17T15:59:00.000-06:00

I haven't been very linky lately. I tend to think that everyone's already seen everything out there so why should I point it out?

I was going to blog about drinking anyway today, though, so Modern Drunkard's Bar Signs is quite topical and appropriate.

Inspired by some article I read yesterday about how champagne is poised to take off and be something more than a New Year's Eve drink for us Yanks, I picked up a bottle on the way home. It's delightful with hearty, greasy food, the article said, and I was also picking up a pizza. (It also said it's great with seafood--dry and takes a bit of the fishiness out.)

Actually, I picked up a 30-pack of Miller High Life in cans. It's the champagne of beers. It was also only 13 bucks!

But I also picked up some actual champagne, albeit probably the beer of champagnes...a $4 sparkling Italian white. It was a little too sweet, and just a little scangey in a way that I couldn't put my finger on, but it was good enough. I drank nearly the whole bottle, and the boyfriend finished off the rest when I said it would go to waste because I didn't have a stopper. It was really a bit too much booze for a weeknight, but I didn't get a legitimate hangover, so all's well that ends well.

It was fun to get champagne, though. When I brought it home, the boyfriend asked, what are we celebrating? I said, we're celebrating pizza! (And it also makes that delighful pop when you open it.)

It's nice to celebrate.

2002-12-16T09:37:00.000-06:00

I need to quit whining about stuff that's not going to happen for another year and a half, for chrissakes.

Kate captures my joy of living in the moment perfectly:

Once you experience someone or something in linear time, in the flesh, everything's new. Everything's possible. The feeling of linear time is so sexy. It's what makes angels wish they were human. It's got to be one the best creations of the universe, and it's happening every second--for a limited time only!

Got to go grab me a piece of that linear time pudding pie.

Is that perfect or what? Right now is so awesome because you get to experience it, and even if it's shitty you get to transcend it and experience something else later. Why on earth would you waste now?

2002-12-14T14:17:00.000-06:00

No blog yesterday because I used my lunch hour to --get this-- eat lunch. New sushi place in town, very exciting. I'm not the world's biggest sushi fan, but it's a really wonderful change of pace once in a while. Makes it very tempting for me to start eating fish again.

I'm waiting on an old college friend to come visit me. Maybe he'll take me to sushi.

The boyfriend will not take me to sushi ever because (as I've mentioned) he's not into food that has flavor. I'm a good enough girlfriend that I won't press the point, but I'm not good enough not to even bring it up even though I know what the answer is.

He had this really awful experience with an exgirlfriend who once made him go to an Indian restaurant. He of course wouldn't eat anything, and then she got mad at him when he didn't have money to pay for her.

I'm not that girl.

This old college friend lives in the city I may be moving to. For the first time last night, as I was falling asleep, I got a little scared about starting over. I'm a bit of an anomaly among my friends because I got hired full-time while I was still in college and have stayed at the same job (a job that's very prone to turnover, no less) ever since. But I realized pretty quickly that everything would most likely be just fine. It's just a little new.

I moved around a lot when I was little--two or three times a year most years until I was nine or so. My parents were nice enough to never move me in the middle of a school year, but my dad was a contractor and had to go where the jobs were. But we settled when I was nine, and I didn't move until I was 17. I was one of maybe two or three in my class going out-of-state for college, so that seemed big at the time. Now I've lived here longer than anywhere else, and I'm an adult on top of that.

Really I'm more excited about a move than scared of it, but I'm so happy with my current circumstances that it seems weird to mess with things. But as good as I'm doing, I think I can do better.

The really weird thing about this for me is that the geographic move is being caused by another kind of move, the move where I stop being the primary wage-earner. The move where I put my great career in question so that I can support my boyfriend. I'm very grateful that the boyfriend is on the way to a great, high-paying job, and I hope that makes things easier, but you see how I'm a little afraid that it might actually make things harder. Mostly because I'm stubborn and a bit of a control freak, and I'm afraid that giving up a share of my economic power will mean that I lose control.

But you know what? I trust my boyfriend so much. It really is all going to be okay.

I'm such an optimist.

2002-12-12T11:46:00.000-06:00

Tell me which game system I should get.

2002-12-11T13:00:00.000-06:00

Comments are back. We'll see how this goes.

I just got back from the chiropractor, but I wasn't there for me, I was there as moral support for the boyfriend, who was going for the first time on my recommendation. He was having pains in his hand, and I told him that the chiro is cheap and totally, instantly fixed me when my hands were hurting.

Some people just don't get chiropractors, or they're afraid of having their spine adjusted. I understand kinda, but in my head I yell at those people, You don't understand! The chiropractor makes you feel good! No, it's not exactly like your regular doctor, and that's why it's awesome!

The boyfriend was, I think, a little skeptical, but he was so bothered by the pain, and he trusted me.

And it worked!

And when I drove him home, he couldn't shut up about how magical it was, how much better he felt, and how much he liked the doctor. Just like me.

2002-12-11T09:20:00.000-06:00

Mary Hansen from Stereolab was killed in an accident earlier.

Turn it up loud, so your ears throb.

2002-12-10T16:35:00.000-06:00

Actual conversation I just had with myself:

Hey, I got a cookie in my box lunch today! That sure would be good right about now. Now, where did I put it?

Hey! Where's my cookie? I didn't accidentally throw it away with the box, did I? That would be tragic!

No, I took it out, brought it down to my desk, put it in my desk drawer, then immediately took it back out and ate it. So it must be...

Oh.

2002-12-10T13:56:00.000-06:00

Have I mentioned how I'm not a fan of winter?

Even when I lived in the desert it was no good. (It gets colder in the desert than people realize; it's just cold without snow.)

But now that I've lived in the midwest for going on ten (heaven help me!) years, I think I can say that there's not much good about winter. The snow is mildly amusing a couple of times, but mostly it just sucks.

Where is all the cactus? The palm trees? The mirage-pools of water on the highway and on the horizon?

I made tostadas last night for the boyfriend for the first time. He didn't know what they were. I wasn't sure he'd like them, but how can you go wrong with something that involves a fried tortilla? They were heavenly, he agreed. It tasted like a little piece of home, and I didn't even have green chiles for them.

It's odd how 'home' is a place that I don't plan on visiting, really, ever again.

I'm getting way off-topic.

Anyway, another part of what sucks about winter is that I drive to and from work in the dark. I don't see the sun except on weekends. (Windowless office.) Not that I'm outdoorsy, especially in winter, but still.

One of the few redeeming things about winter (and also of the miserable holiday season) (and also the dark drives) is little twinkly lights. Little twinkly lights make everything better. As I was driving to work this morning, I thought I should take pictures of little twinkly lights and use it as a banner for the blog.

I'll do that as soon as we get above seventy degrees.

2002-12-09T15:21:00.000-06:00

A couple of music things that I am sooper late on:

The Streets: Very interesting; very English. Don't see myself listening to it a year from now, but it's a good document of a moment in English culture.

Ladytron: How did I miss this one? It is so right up my alley. Also, why when I was fifteen did I renounce all music not made by guitars? Bad move. I missed out on years of being a synth-pop apologist.

As usual, Allmusic is more helpful than the original sites: The Streets, Ladytron.

2002-12-06T14:25:00.000-06:00

Yay for December and holiday gift baskets in the mail.

I am an awful person; I do not give, and when I receive, I never share. I am currently 3/4 of the way through a box of chocolates and feeling mildly (yet almost pleasantly) sick.

I did get my parents their Christmas gift yesterday, the major gift anyway. Ludicrously expensive bedsheets marked down to regular expensive. My dad in particular loves good linens but has never splurged on a really nice set.

Work calls.

2002-12-05T11:56:00.000-06:00

Work was a little busy yesterday; sorry no blog. I got a burst of productivity at the end of it all though, made me feel good.

Yesterday for the first time I let someone in the industry know I was thinking about moving. This is kind of serious, as one is supposed to play these cards close. But she's a good person and she's about to leave for three months of maternity leave. So I took a chance and told her in confidence and she said some things that were really encouraging regarding my chances in radio in this new city.

Now, it's the record label people's job to be really nice and kiss my ass a little. They're promotion people, salespeople in a way, and you gotta do what you gotta do to close the deal. I can respect that. But everything they say must be taken with a grain of salt.

I wanted to believe her, though, and so I did. She mentioned a position that might open up at a radio station, and both the position and the station are a really good fit for me.

Radio is different from a lot of other jobs for a variety of reasons. If you're a DJ, you don't just move to a new city and get a job in your field. Usually you get the job and then move to wherever the job is. If it's your goal to work in a big city, you jump jobs a lot in the beginning, trying to work your way up. Usually people don't get to take big 'jumps,' going from market #100 to market #10 or whatever. I'm trying to make a much bigger jump than that. It's pretty daunting. I think I've got a lot of things going for me, though.

The other scary part comes if I even get a job in radio. The fun little dance that I do with the record labels now becomes a lot more serious in a big city. Things could get interesting.

2002-12-03T16:41:00.000-06:00

Okay, hi, I'm back. The Amazon thing is so creepy. I threw out all the crap and told it I owned YHF, and this is what it recommended next:

1. When I Was Cruel ~ Elvis Costello
2. 89/93 ~ Uncle Tupelo
3. Sea Change ~ Beck
4. Is This It ~ The Strokes
5. Stereo (w/ Grandpaboy Bonus Disc) ~ Paul Westerberg
6. White Blood Cells ~ White Stripes
7. A Rush of Blood to the Head ~ Coldplay
8. Chelsea Walls ~ Jeff Tweedy,
9. Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots ~ The Flaming Lips
10. Veni Vidi Vicious ~ Hives
11. Sidetracks ~ Steve Earle
12. Jerusalem ~ Steve Earle
13. Daybreaker ~ Beth Orton
14. Sebastopol ~ Jay Farrar
15. Demolition ~ Ryan Adams

I own ALL OF THESE ALBUMS. Except for Chelsea Walls, WHICH I WAS MEANING TO BUY. I also like all of them, and love almost all of them.

Sorry, I know this is not new to anyone but me, but it's pleasantly freaky. I could waste some time on this for sure, but I'd better get home now so I can beat the rush hour.

2002-12-03T16:29:00.000-06:00

Also, I started playing with Amazon's wishlist. Not for the blog, because I find that a little weird personally, but for the boyfriend, who may very well tickle me to death if I fail to provide him with ideas on what to get me for Christmas.

I'm not very big on Christmas. Maybe that has to do with not being Christian. Maybe that has to do with being cheap. Maybe I don't feel worthy of gifts. Maybe I'm just fine with the way things are the other days of the year.

I do like the days off, though.

Anyway, I put a bunch of books about NYC history on my wishlist. Then I found the 'suggestions' feature and wondered, what music would Amazon think that I'd like, seeing as I've only told it that I like NYC history (and also motorcycles, I think)?

Bernadette Peters Loves Rodgers & Hammerstein. Of course. Lotsa Broadway stuff, and lotsa awful faux-classical. Oh, and The Rising. And Yankee Hotel Foxtrot, which I actually do love, but that doesn't make me special. Summerteeth is still much dearer to my heart, though.

Oh, man, there's an album called The Most Relaxing Classical Album in the World...Ever!

Ever!

2002-12-03T16:15:00.000-06:00

Stupid comments. I'm taking them off until they start working better.

2002-12-03T13:39:00.000-06:00

I'm all angry inside because of war and injustice and Poindexter and torture and I just don't know what to do or how to think.

I'm a stupid American with too much time on my hands.

Denial is the answer.

Find Outlet - Annual Holiday Sale 12/5/2002 12/8/2002
Hours - Thurs - Sun: 12 PM - 7 PM
Find Outlet is having their amazing holiday sale at both locations so double your pleasure! Find everything your holiday heart desires for that fabulous female on your list, especially if it's YOU! Holiday clothing, chunky sweaters, coats and gorgeous gifts are priced for the taking and the generous giving!

The Goods: Fendi wallets were $325, now $165, Burberry scarves were $155 now $69, Seven Jeans were $120 now $26, Paper denim cloth pants were $130, now $35, Blumarine dresses were $845 now $99; Emma Black beaded silk tops were $150 now $49, V is for Violet separates were $180 - $249 now $39 - $59. Also look for Nuala by Christy Turlington Yoga clothing starting at just $9.

Find Outlet
361 W. 17th St. (btwn. 8th & 9th Ave.)
New York NY 10011
(212) 243-3177

229 Mott St. (btwn. Prince & Spring Sts.)
New York NY 10012
(212) 243-3177

2002-12-02T09:44:00.000-06:00

I had a dream about bloggers last night. For real.

I dreamed that a bunch of people were meeting in the woods for an old-fashioned campout. I went too early and there were only two people there. One of them was Tony, and I introduced myself to him with my real name, and he said hi to me, but he was using Ernie's voice. I was so freaked out that I forgot to introduce myself again as teeny. I just turned around and left without finding out who the other person was.

I realized that I hadn't brought any food to share with the rest of the bloggers, so I left the awkward situation and set out to get some food and probably beer too. For some reason I was in the radio station vehicle, which is a huge death trap but has lots of storage space. I was bouncing along in the truck and I realized that Kate was going to be there. And I could see the future stretching out before me, how we'd be sitting around the campfire singing great rock songs together, me and Kate and the rest of the bloggers. And I started trying to remember the chords to "Talk Dirty To Me," which is really fun to do all wistful-Jewel-style because it takes a while to get to the hook and then it's even more of a big punch line when people realize what song it is.

That's about all there was to the dream. I never actually made it back to the campsite. I swear this is all true. I don't have any idea what it could possibly mean.

2002-11-28T12:45:00.000-06:00

Hm. Thought Blogger ate my last entry but there it is...some sort of publishing mishap I suppose.

Mom is on her way to visit for the holiday and here I am on the computer not cleaning the house. She's not due for an hour and a half yet but she's always an hour early, so I'd better start hiding the guns and porn.

Mom is wonderful; I love her lots and it's really nice for her to visit when I'm all hijacked by work and can't leave. A few days off is also very nice ('off' meaning I only have to stop in for an hour or so each day). Eating lots is also very good, although I'm not sure how much cooking we'll be able to squeeze in.

My family always had these quiet little intimate holidays that were nice at the time and nicer in retrospect. We lived miles and miles away from any other family, so it was always just the three of us. We all love each other a lot and we never fought; it was really too good to be true but that's how it was! I'm a very lucky girl.

So this holiday it will be just me and my mom. The boyfriend just left to be with his dad's side of the family for the day (last weekend we were with the mom's side) and although I like them quite a lot, I had to opt out in favor of more time with my mom and a little alone time.

tick-tick-tick-tick-tick. The house is messy. I'm such a slob. Luckily my mom knows this and bites her tongue because she doesn't want to nitpick me like her mom does to her. She's so cool. Knowing this makes me feel even more guilty, though, so I'm going to go clean now.

2002-11-26T18:54:00.000-06:00

I sat down at the boyfriend's computer to type and started a CD without knowing what was in his player. It's Massive Attack's Mezzanine. What a nice surprise. I haven't heard this in a while, a year or so, I suppose. Sometimes I forget that there are albums that were released since I graduated high school, or college even, that are classics. Sometimes I think nothing's ever going to match the hours and hours I spent with Disintegration, or whatever.

Man, I listened to Mezzanine a lot and I didn't even realize it. Maybe that's because it was during the couple of years I was living by myself and drinking too much. I spent a lot of nights in that apartment with the stereo really loud, dancing in the living room.

For no good reason earlier today I thought of the winter when I was fifteen and had just fallen in love for the first time. For some reason I went to stay with my grandparents for winter break, miles and miles away from home. I went to see Edward Scissorhands in the theater and then I bought Kiss Me, Kiss Me, Kiss Me and listened to it nonstop for the rest of break, taking desultory slices at my skin with my pocketknife. Standard teenage stuff.

I guess it was because it was so cold today. It reminded me of that winter.

I'm glad I got the love thing right the second time around.

I'm also glad he left that CD in the player. Otherwise I don't know what I was going to write about.

2002-11-25T16:17:00.000-06:00

Dear officemate across the hall: Please get a different ringtone.

Dear all three hundred of the boyfriend's relatives: Kids are not contagious. I know just how you get them and I will not be getting any.

Dear the boyfriend: You are so good.

Dear cavedwellers, or Dionysus: Thanks for inventing wine.

Dear capitalist pigs: Enough with the Christmas already.

Dear skincare gods: Can I please have adult skin?

Dear new coworker: Your gift of cheese has cemented my loyalty to you. You can do no wrong.

Dear relatives of the boyfriend again: I think that look that you get when we talk about moving into the city is really funny except when it makes me want to cry. I'm sorry we're not afraid of black people. Except I'm not sorry at all.

2002-11-23T13:40:00.000-06:00

The blog is supposed to complement my job and help me think in different ways, but I've just been neglecting it lately because things have been crazy. I've actually hardly listened to any music lately because I just can't bear it for some reason. This is very strange for me, as music has always been the refuge. But I don't want to listen to my radio station because I just don't want to know if someone screws up on the air or whatever. Ignorance is bliss, and if that's what it takes for me to let go of things a little, so be it.

I haven't even wanted to listen to other stations, or albums, though. When I do listen to albums, they've been very European/non-rock. But I've been enjoying them. I've spent a lot of time with this Sigur Ros and the Coldplay and the Röksopp. I think Chris Martin's voice reminds me of Robert Smith's and that's why I like it.

What the hell am I going to do with my life if I have to get out of radio?

I've spent the last seven years building up a very successful career, and I'm ready to chuck it because the boyfriend will be able to get a job in another city that pays about three times what I'm earning now. The situation doesn't exactly suck, but it puts me in a place that I'm struggling to figure out.

What will I do career-wise?

Will he be happy?

How do I deal with being middle-class?

Upper-middle-class, even. Again, this doesn't suck and it's obviously what we've been working for, but it's almost like moving to a new country.

I would have never said that I grew up working-class (before I went to college and saw how my new friends lived, i.e. much swankier than I), and I would still hesitate to say so now. My parents were definitely working-class, though, but they are both very smart and gave me a lot of the cultural capital that let me negotiate a middle-class society when I did go to college.

That's part of the reason I'm so obsessed with fashion and other upper-crust consumer goods, art, and history. I'm desperate to give myself an education so that I can make conversation with these people. So they won't think I'm an idiot. So I don't reflect badly on the boyfriend.

I'm making this totally black-and-white and much more serious than it really is, but my experience negotiating the social circles in my town has shown me that networking and such is important.

I've wandered so far away from my original point here.

The point is: I've had a fairly stable life for the last six years or so. Everything is likely going to change in the next two years. I will probably live in another city. I may be a homeowner. I may be...well, you know. We don't talk about that.

2002-11-22T15:44:00.000-06:00

Mike needs to be famous... and fast.

But let me say that famous is not all it's cracked up to be.

Well, maybe it is. It's better than not being famous, I suppose. You get into places for free and people are excited to see you. Better than being infamous by far.

It's not so great to be famous without the rich, which is where I am. Not famous famous, of course, but will you cut the ribbon on the new car dealership famous, or will you emcee this charity event famous. Since I recognized you at the bar I'll talk to you about Pavement for an hour famous.

Mike just wants to be famous "in a bloggish kind of way." That's cool. I wouldn't mind being famous in a bloggish kind of way either.

2002-11-21T16:21:00.000-06:00

nutty work!

wanted to write about boys and books and music but there is no time.

2002-11-19T15:10:00.000-06:00

This day started off really bad, but it's getting better. Yay hormones. Actually woke up and burst into tears because yesterday had been so long and ridiculous at work and I was just so mad about it. Gave up time allotted to eat breakfast to sob in bed next to boyfriend (who didn't remember any of this after he woke up, but that's not important). Then moved on with day. Felt shitty for sure. All day long eyes have been all heavy and scratchy due to crying.

But got Sigur Ros album in the mail today and was just what I needed! Lovely. Lovely.

Then had wonderful escapist sushi lunch with boss. Wonderful.

Promise to kiss on boyfriend lots tonight. Yes.

2002-11-18T15:56:00.000-06:00

Still madness here. Things all bollocksed up again. Obviously spending too much time on I Love Music and feeling perfectly free to use English slang despite not being English, except in the ancestral sense. Actually emailed my mom not to think I was 'daft' for changing my haircolor again. Right gutted about it, I am.