nydreams

2004-07-11T11:16:00.000-05:00

arrgh.

2003-12-11T19:54:00.000-06:00

goodbye blog, it was cool while it lasted. All my trivial thoughts are going onto I Love Everything these days.

2003-09-16T16:01:00.000-05:00

why do I never learn to compose my amazing posts in a non-blogger setting? Rest assured it was genius.

2003-08-18T19:24:00.000-05:00

Hurrah again for TiVo, which taped Crossfire for me today and Janeane Garofalo is the co-host! Not the guest, but the actual 'from-the-left' co-host with Tucker Carlson, and she's on all week. She's a bit unused to the teleprompter, but is doing great. Have you seen her new blonde hair? I can't find a picture. She was on Real Time with Bill Maher with it too. (Wow, Margaret Cho is on next week's Real Time! She's also coming to Big City on her tour!) Oh, man, the conservatives are being so condescending to Janeane. I seriously want to write her fan letters.

I've been busy for the last week putting together a new hard rock radio station, which debuts tomorrow. I have listened to so much Limp Bizkit and Korn and Tool and also a few things that I like. I was a huge metalhead in high school; what happened? I seriously don't get this stuff. Misanthropy beats misogyny hands down. And what is going on with Tool, seriously? I know I don't get prog, but albums and albums full of extended 8-minute songs about butt sex?

They're not even happy songs.

2003-08-04T18:39:00.000-05:00

haha, the vegan diet totally went out the window. Lasted a week and a half, maybe. Honestly the wheat-free part was the hardest. If I could afford to go out for pad thai all the time it wouldn't be that bad, but as it is, bleh.

The b/f comes back from his Big City summer job adventure in a week, hopefully with a job offer. He played golf for the first time last week AND LIKED IT. The soul is all gone. On the other hand, reunion sex rocks.

I told myself I'd start looking for a job in Big City as soon as we were settled in our new place, but my big hope is suddenly my deep fear: that I'd land a job quickly. The summer without him has been harder than I thought, and trying to settle into a new job without him would be a little too much to handle. I'd like to be here for support during his last year of law school, too. I haven't talked to him about it yet, but I think he'd be cool supporting me if I didn't get a job there once he graduated. Hell, I've saved enough money to not have to bother him about it, so who cares. Things are generally pretty good.

2003-07-11T18:25:00.000-05:00

I'm totally on a health kick; it's a little weird. I'm three days into a vegan/wheat-free diet. I'm hungry all the time but I think my skin is clearing up a little. While I was on vacation I was totally ready to quit my job but now that I'm back it isn't so bad. The boyfriend and I almost had the marriage conversation. I told him I hated diamonds and when he asked why I said diamonds are the blood of Africa. He about laughed his ass off. I turn into a real hippie when he's not around. There's a guy in a turban on my breakfast cereal these days.

2003-06-26T17:52:00.000-05:00

Okay, I don't leave for NYC on Saturday. I'm eating the ticket. I'm going to Chicago with my mom instead. I'm totally letting her and b/f pressure me into staying because they don't want me in NYC alone. On the other hand, Chicago is great and I've been needing to spend some time with my folks. (I realize this makes it sound like my mom runs my life; it's totally not true. The $1000 I'd have to spend on hotel is a big part of the decision. Plus I'm incredibly tired from moving and want to nest for a while.) I cried a lot today; I'm really bummed out about all the fun stuff I'll miss in NYC. But really, a week off in Chicago is nothing to complain about. It'll also be that much more easy to justify a splurge on the magnificent mile when I think about the thou I'm not spending on hotel.

2003-06-25T22:24:00.000-05:00

I leave for NYC on Saturday. I'm completely unprepared. A bunch of different housing options all fell through so I don't know where I'm staying. I've saved enough money to spend on a hotel but I'm so tight that it makes me feel bad to spend all that money on bed when I could be getting fancy shoes or buying drinks for friends. I should just let it go already. I've considered eating my cheap ticket, but we know that's not really going to happen. I'm really stressed out from moving too, bleh.

The boyfriend is doing well in Big City. He keeps calling me drunk--he's not much of a drinker but there is plentiful free booze at Big Law Firm gatherings. Apparently today he won a pool tournament. He has the worst dumb luck in pool, and awful form, but he gets the job done. So every time he won a round, he got another free drink. It added up to eight drinks. In the final round he beat the head of the state bar. Yeah. And when he won, he made the 'loser' sign on his forehead. Yeah. He said the guy had a good sense of humor. Sure hope so.

2003-06-02T20:35:00.000-05:00

Okay, something really nice happened to me and I want to try to share it.

Basically, a stranger (listener) came up to me and told me I was doing a good job and that they were really happy that I was around. I about burst into tears.

So maybe strangers don't get much contact with what you produce at your job, or maybe you don't have a job per se, at least not as most define it. Doesn't matter. Almost certainly you don't get told enough that you're doing a good job. Sure.

You're doing a really good job. There are certain things about it that give you satisfaction even if you may not want to admit it to yourself. But regardless, it's your job, and you do it, and you do it well.

SERIOUSLY.

Listen to me. If you left, the person they got to replace you--NO WAY would they do as good of a job. You are PURE MAGIC and you can make wonderful things happen.

Also note that this holds true outside any 9-5 thingy you may or may not be committed to. You have a job as a friend and a family member and as a human being on this earth. And you're fucking awesome at it. For real. You have something in you that makes other people happy.

I know I sound like a hippy. I didn't say this was going to be easy.

So you have something in you that can be magical. IT'S TRUE. And one of the most amazing things about having this goodness in you is that you get to share it with others and make their lives happier and easier. That's your job really.

And you're great at it.

I know you have this little dark part in you now that's scowling. That's okay. Put on some Pet Shop Boys and teach it how to dance.

Thanks.

Also, Chris says hi. He just got a haircut.

2003-06-01T21:39:00.000-05:00

New NYC obsession: Craigslist NYC.

Tourist Season Alert, from same.

I just bought tickets to NYC, yay.

2003-05-25T22:15:00.000-05:00

Independent Film Channel: Dinner For Five. Never knew it existed, but Tivo gets everything with Janeane Garofalo in it, so I got this. Jon Favreau has dinner in NYC with Janeane, Dave Eggers, David Byrne, and Joe Pantoliano. Wow. It sounds so awesome.

Actually they just end up talking about cancer.

2003-05-24T13:24:00.000-05:00

Still mulling over the css redesign. I don't really know that much about the principles of design and I'm too undiciplined about it. I want to put too many different elements into it. I'd really like to do something Frank Lloyd Wright/Arts & Craftsy, I guess, but there are so many other fun looks. Dark Victorian? Twee-goth? Super-modern?

2003-05-23T18:47:00.000-05:00

You saw it here first: Silence! The Musical.

2003-05-20T19:52:00.000-05:00

V. lonely at night without boyfriend. Roof leaked last night too. More cracks appear in walls every day. Moving in a month.

R.P. in NYC, where are you? I left a message on your cell phone. Email me please...I just don't want to lose track of you.

Lower East Side love.

2003-05-18T12:41:00.000-05:00

Wow, how lame have I been? Things have been beyond crazy, working multiple jobs, etc etc. I may have more time on my hands now that the boyfriend's gone to his summer job in Big City. I want to redesign my css too. The zengarden thing's got me inspired. If you want ridiculously long blog entries, Flight Risk should keep you satisfied.

2003-04-13T20:13:00.000-05:00

New York Magazine put out their 35th anniversary issue and it's marvelous. The city is amazing now but I wonder what it was really like in the day. I sense the fresh paint on it now, the Disneyfication of it all; I can see the ghosts of what used to be but I don't really know. What was it like in those crazy days? Times Square, the Son of Sam, the '77 blackouts? The crime, the fear, the blood just underneath the surface?

2003-04-10T14:28:00.000-05:00

Entries have been few and far between lately, I know. I've become addicted to AIM and have forgotten about poor little blogger. So easily distracted...

Oh, and the books and records over there on the side are hopelessly outdated too. I'm enjoying Caitlin Cary's new one and still trying to figure out if I like the new White Stripes and Radiohead. Daylight saving is over so it may be time to break out the reggae again.

2003-04-04T22:03:00.000-06:00

The boyfriend has just discovered NOW with Bill Moyers and has a season pass to it now on the Tivo. So it just came on while I had the TV on in the background. They had the editor of Editor & Publisher on. (I thought that was kind of funny; ah, to be the editor of Editor & Publisher!) So anyway, it's coverage of war coverage, a nice long-form interview that I'm only half-paying attention to.

Their second segment is on media consolidation, something that naturally strikes close to home for me. If I move to Big City, I'll have to work for one of these big corporations if I want to work in commercial radio.

I still have to write that big article. My only hope is to write something ridiculously academic. I also still have to do my taxes. And the boyfriends taxes. (Irony: he will probably get the highest grade in his Tax Law class this semester, but the 1040 EZ still scares him.) He's gone this weekend so no distractions, boo.

I was gonna go out tonight but I'm tired of dealing with people. I feel grungy. Plus I've been treating myself too often to meals out (v. unusual) and need to be a little more sensible about the spending. Already today I ate lunch and dinner out. Well, I had Subway stamps for dinner, so it only cost me a dollar for the soda you have to buy. My little sandwich artist was so stoned; I felt bad for him.

My latest New York magazine has an article that talks about our personal experiences with others; the moment when we find out where our acquaintances, friends, coworkers stand on the war. For some reason I found it really good, really intimate and personal. (I could've just been loopy and exhausted and tired of war coverage at the very end of the day.) It's funny how some people will rush to tell you their stance, and it's just as funny to watch myself react. I'm often more guarded about revealing my stance with people who have viewpoints similar to mine and I'm not sure why that is. Maybe I just like hearing them explain themselves and see where they find their strong arguments, what's important to them.

2003-03-30T11:20:00.000-06:00

Last night I had war dreams, end-of-the-world dreams. Everyone was pretty resigned to it. We did take a bunch of equipment out and make some sort of crazy pirate radio station, or maybe we just carted a huge sound system out into the middle of the street. Everyone was chilling out in the streets and trying to find a semi-private area to have their end-of-the-world screw. The boyfriend said he had end-of-the-world dreams too but they were heavily influenced by our watching of Metal Mania. I downloaded Operation Mindcrime for him overnight.

2003-03-29T15:34:00.000-06:00

Also, if I were a member of Vixen, I would totally be the bassist because my hair is really limp and fine and there's no way I could get it to be as big as the other girls'.

2003-03-29T15:30:00.000-06:00

Hurrah for a lazy day.

Hurrah for a VH1 Classic Metal Mania Weekend!

Here is one half-hour of programming.

House Of Lords - I Wanna Be Loved
Mama's Boys - Mama We're All Crazy Now (note non-Slade spelling)
Kix - Body Talk (the video is so hideous; seemingly shot on videotape, band on a cheap stage intercut with shots of twenty girls in leotards doing aerobics in a high school gym.)
Pretty Boy Floyd - I Wanna Be With You (from the fine album 'Leather Boyz With Electric Toyz')
Then commercials, and then guest VJ or something Leslie West from Mountain talks for a reallllllly long time.
Then Def Leppard - Rock Of Ages (could there be a video more classic! the tied-up chick looks at the owl! the owl looks at Joe Elliot's ass! cut to gauntleted hand crushing goblet of mysteriously red fluid! the end bit where Joe waves an amazingly large glowing sword!)
Then Tesla - Gettin' Better. I've never heard of it, but it's got a lovely black-and-white video with sad shots of smokestacks and workers in hardhats. Oh, but then it goes all color and uptempo and relentlessly optimistic! Yeah!
Then the BEYOND CLASSIC POISON - FALLEN ANGEL that opens up with the little skit in the beginning where the hottie daugher informs the parents that she's going to move to California...on Friday. You remember how this one goes.

2003-03-29T13:07:00.000-06:00

2003-03-29T09:52:00.000-06:00

Gad, now it's been ages since I posted. Work has still been seriously weird. Yay for the weekend.

Also yay for Tivo. I'm watching Real Time With Bill Maher and he had Michael Moore by satellite and Janeane Garofalo on the roundtable. Excellent. Janeane is looking too thin these days...I'm worried all the activism is taking its toll on her, but bless her for it. I hate that she's getting attacked by people who didn't even know her genius before this whole mess started.

2003-03-25T19:58:00.000-06:00

Two soy chicken patties on buns, bowl of mac and cheese, and two Miller High Lifes for dinner tonight. A bit much really but I didn't have lunch.

Soulseek means that I'm rediscovering the Cure by finally getting to listen to all those demos and b-sides I could never get my hands on. Ace. Also very interesting to see what people think is interesting out of my collection. So far it's Massive Attack's Mezzanine by a mile. I certainly thought everyone already had this album. It's certainly one you should buy and not download because you need to have high fidelity on a good system, loud. It's not much fun listening to mp3s on bitty laptop speakers, but you get the general idea of the song. I guess I need to bring my kickass Sennheisers home to see if that helps.

Must plug People Talk Too Loud for the redesign and the generall all-around goodness. Maybe one of these days I'll even write an article for them. Right now I've got an article due for Radio and Rec0rds, though; 1700 words of "I don't know, whatever you think is important." 1700!

I hafta watch 24 now.

2003-03-22T21:48:00.000-06:00

I can't believe it's only been a few days since the bombs began dropping. Went to bed the night of the 19th to be woken up by all the calls from work telling me it was on. We had a plan in place, of course; we've had enough time to come up with one. Everything went fine and I didn't have to go in and supervise.

It's always strange to be in that newsroom environment when things are really happening. I walked in right before the bombs started getting enormously scary on Friday - or was it Thursday? (everything's blended together and the days have been very long.) Everyone was fighting back the tears, some more successfully than others.

Salam has been breaking my heart.

The basketball is nice and distracting. I really don't know what else to do. The marches and rallies help too.

Tomorrow I'm doing a political talk show (I guess I'm supposed to be the young idealistic voice) and I'm going to have to get all my feelings and arguments down into sound bites.

I'm really glad it's the weekend. The atmosphere at the radio station is suffocating at times like these.