6/26/2003

Okay, I don't leave for NYC on Saturday. I'm eating the ticket. I'm going to Chicago with my mom instead. I'm totally letting her and b/f pressure me into staying because they don't want me in NYC alone. On the other hand, Chicago is great and I've been needing to spend some time with my folks. (I realize this makes it sound like my mom runs my life; it's totally not true. The $1000 I'd have to spend on hotel is a big part of the decision. Plus I'm incredibly tired from moving and want to nest for a while.) I cried a lot today; I'm really bummed out about all the fun stuff I'll miss in NYC. But really, a week off in Chicago is nothing to complain about. It'll also be that much more easy to justify a splurge on the magnificent mile when I think about the thou I'm not spending on hotel.

6/25/2003

I leave for NYC on Saturday. I'm completely unprepared. A bunch of different housing options all fell through so I don't know where I'm staying. I've saved enough money to spend on a hotel but I'm so tight that it makes me feel bad to spend all that money on bed when I could be getting fancy shoes or buying drinks for friends. I should just let it go already. I've considered eating my cheap ticket, but we know that's not really going to happen. I'm really stressed out from moving too, bleh.

The boyfriend is doing well in Big City. He keeps calling me drunk--he's not much of a drinker but there is plentiful free booze at Big Law Firm gatherings. Apparently today he won a pool tournament. He has the worst dumb luck in pool, and awful form, but he gets the job done. So every time he won a round, he got another free drink. It added up to eight drinks. In the final round he beat the head of the state bar. Yeah. And when he won, he made the 'loser' sign on his forehead. Yeah. He said the guy had a good sense of humor. Sure hope so.

6/02/2003

Okay, something really nice happened to me and I want to try to share it.

Basically, a stranger (listener) came up to me and told me I was doing a good job and that they were really happy that I was around. I about burst into tears.

So maybe strangers don't get much contact with what you produce at your job, or maybe you don't have a job per se, at least not as most define it. Doesn't matter. Almost certainly you don't get told enough that you're doing a good job. Sure.

You're doing a really good job. There are certain things about it that give you satisfaction even if you may not want to admit it to yourself. But regardless, it's your job, and you do it, and you do it well.

SERIOUSLY.

Listen to me. If you left, the person they got to replace you--NO WAY would they do as good of a job. You are PURE MAGIC and you can make wonderful things happen.

Also note that this holds true outside any 9-5 thingy you may or may not be committed to. You have a job as a friend and a family member and as a human being on this earth. And you're fucking awesome at it. For real. You have something in you that makes other people happy.

I know I sound like a hippy. I didn't say this was going to be easy.

So you have something in you that can be magical. IT'S TRUE. And one of the most amazing things about having this goodness in you is that you get to share it with others and make their lives happier and easier. That's your job really.

And you're great at it.

I know you have this little dark part in you now that's scowling. That's okay. Put on some Pet Shop Boys and teach it how to dance.

Thanks.

Also, Chris says hi. He just got a haircut.

6/01/2003

New NYC obsession: Craigslist NYC.

Tourist Season Alert, from same.

I just bought tickets to NYC, yay.