7/11/2004

arrgh.

12/11/2003

goodbye blog, it was cool while it lasted. All my trivial thoughts are going onto I Love Everything these days.

9/16/2003

why do I never learn to compose my amazing posts in a non-blogger setting? Rest assured it was genius.

8/18/2003

Hurrah again for TiVo, which taped Crossfire for me today and Janeane Garofalo is the co-host! Not the guest, but the actual 'from-the-left' co-host with Tucker Carlson, and she's on all week. She's a bit unused to the teleprompter, but is doing great. Have you seen her new blonde hair? I can't find a picture. She was on Real Time with Bill Maher with it too. (Wow, Margaret Cho is on next week's Real Time! She's also coming to Big City on her tour!) Oh, man, the conservatives are being so condescending to Janeane. I seriously want to write her fan letters.

I've been busy for the last week putting together a new hard rock radio station, which debuts tomorrow. I have listened to so much Limp Bizkit and Korn and Tool and also a few things that I like. I was a huge metalhead in high school; what happened? I seriously don't get this stuff. Misanthropy beats misogyny hands down. And what is going on with Tool, seriously? I know I don't get prog, but albums and albums full of extended 8-minute songs about butt sex?

They're not even happy songs.

8/04/2003

haha, the vegan diet totally went out the window. Lasted a week and a half, maybe. Honestly the wheat-free part was the hardest. If I could afford to go out for pad thai all the time it wouldn't be that bad, but as it is, bleh.

The b/f comes back from his Big City summer job adventure in a week, hopefully with a job offer. He played golf for the first time last week AND LIKED IT. The soul is all gone. On the other hand, reunion sex rocks.

I told myself I'd start looking for a job in Big City as soon as we were settled in our new place, but my big hope is suddenly my deep fear: that I'd land a job quickly. The summer without him has been harder than I thought, and trying to settle into a new job without him would be a little too much to handle. I'd like to be here for support during his last year of law school, too. I haven't talked to him about it yet, but I think he'd be cool supporting me if I didn't get a job there once he graduated. Hell, I've saved enough money to not have to bother him about it, so who cares. Things are generally pretty good.

7/11/2003

I'm totally on a health kick; it's a little weird. I'm three days into a vegan/wheat-free diet. I'm hungry all the time but I think my skin is clearing up a little. While I was on vacation I was totally ready to quit my job but now that I'm back it isn't so bad. The boyfriend and I almost had the marriage conversation. I told him I hated diamonds and when he asked why I said diamonds are the blood of Africa. He about laughed his ass off. I turn into a real hippie when he's not around. There's a guy in a turban on my breakfast cereal these days.

6/26/2003

Okay, I don't leave for NYC on Saturday. I'm eating the ticket. I'm going to Chicago with my mom instead. I'm totally letting her and b/f pressure me into staying because they don't want me in NYC alone. On the other hand, Chicago is great and I've been needing to spend some time with my folks. (I realize this makes it sound like my mom runs my life; it's totally not true. The $1000 I'd have to spend on hotel is a big part of the decision. Plus I'm incredibly tired from moving and want to nest for a while.) I cried a lot today; I'm really bummed out about all the fun stuff I'll miss in NYC. But really, a week off in Chicago is nothing to complain about. It'll also be that much more easy to justify a splurge on the magnificent mile when I think about the thou I'm not spending on hotel.

6/25/2003

I leave for NYC on Saturday. I'm completely unprepared. A bunch of different housing options all fell through so I don't know where I'm staying. I've saved enough money to spend on a hotel but I'm so tight that it makes me feel bad to spend all that money on bed when I could be getting fancy shoes or buying drinks for friends. I should just let it go already. I've considered eating my cheap ticket, but we know that's not really going to happen. I'm really stressed out from moving too, bleh.

The boyfriend is doing well in Big City. He keeps calling me drunk--he's not much of a drinker but there is plentiful free booze at Big Law Firm gatherings. Apparently today he won a pool tournament. He has the worst dumb luck in pool, and awful form, but he gets the job done. So every time he won a round, he got another free drink. It added up to eight drinks. In the final round he beat the head of the state bar. Yeah. And when he won, he made the 'loser' sign on his forehead. Yeah. He said the guy had a good sense of humor. Sure hope so.

6/02/2003

Okay, something really nice happened to me and I want to try to share it.

Basically, a stranger (listener) came up to me and told me I was doing a good job and that they were really happy that I was around. I about burst into tears.

So maybe strangers don't get much contact with what you produce at your job, or maybe you don't have a job per se, at least not as most define it. Doesn't matter. Almost certainly you don't get told enough that you're doing a good job. Sure.

You're doing a really good job. There are certain things about it that give you satisfaction even if you may not want to admit it to yourself. But regardless, it's your job, and you do it, and you do it well.

SERIOUSLY.

Listen to me. If you left, the person they got to replace you--NO WAY would they do as good of a job. You are PURE MAGIC and you can make wonderful things happen.

Also note that this holds true outside any 9-5 thingy you may or may not be committed to. You have a job as a friend and a family member and as a human being on this earth. And you're fucking awesome at it. For real. You have something in you that makes other people happy.

I know I sound like a hippy. I didn't say this was going to be easy.

So you have something in you that can be magical. IT'S TRUE. And one of the most amazing things about having this goodness in you is that you get to share it with others and make their lives happier and easier. That's your job really.

And you're great at it.

I know you have this little dark part in you now that's scowling. That's okay. Put on some Pet Shop Boys and teach it how to dance.

Thanks.

Also, Chris says hi. He just got a haircut.

6/01/2003

New NYC obsession: Craigslist NYC.

Tourist Season Alert, from same.

I just bought tickets to NYC, yay.